Talking about Texan shooting with children

We, like many others are deeply saddened by the events in Texas, unfortunately mas school shootings are becoming too frequent on the news and it is having an impact on us all. It is so hard to talk about events like these, let alone with our children. We do not want to scare them, or let them see how scared we are.

We feel like we should be able to explain what happened, but things like this defy all explanations. 

Tell them what happened. It is important that they hear it from you, even if they have already heard something. Give them the facts, but in a broad strokes’ way. Talk to children about what happened in simple and reassuring ways.

Children may already know what happened. Keeping it a ‘secret’ or making up a story about it may only add confusion and mistrust. Kids may fear talking about it because it is a “secret or forbidden topic.” To create healthy dialogues, we can invite children to ask adults any questions they might have about what happened or about themselves and their loved ones.

Answer their questions simply and honestly. We can explain the traumatic incident to children in simple, non-graphic facts.

Children often worry, “Will it happen to me? Can it happen at our school or in our neighbourhood?” We can reassure and comfort children by telling them that this scary event is not an everyday occurrence, and that children are safe. Make sure they know that events like these are exceedingly rare. Schools and other public places are generally very safe.

We can use simple words and simple sentences that avoid hate, racism, and fear. Young children grasp issues better when it is explained in emotionally neutral, brief, and clear ways. We can tell children that this is an incredibly sad event that should never have happened.

Limit their exposure to media about the shooting -- especially video.

Let them know that you, and other helping adults, are working all the time to keep them safe. Give examples of how you are doing this.

We can reinforce and tell children that adults are working hard to keep all children safe – at home, at school, on the playground, and in the community.

We can turn our televisions off while children are in the room, and make sure adult conversations take place with only adults in the room.

Understand that they, like you, may need some time to process what happened. They may have questions -- be ready to answer them. They may be upset but not even know why, so patient be if they act out in unusual way.

We can help children process their thoughts and feelings via books on loss, puppets, drawings, and stories.

Give extra hugs. They may need it. You may too.